By: Laura Braudis (COM ’24)

Have you ever believed that maybe, just maybe, you were experiencing a real life Her moment? Except instead of the husky voice of Scarlett Johansson, you were getting pulled in by the seductive voices of the MBTA Green Line’s announcement service. For your listening pleasure, I’m here to rank these voices and their common phrases on a completely objective scale of sexiness. 

5. “Bus connection”

Literally who is this man? Why is his communication so unclear? There might be a bus connection, but I’m not feeling any connection to him.

4. “Face masks are required on MBTA vehicles and in stations.”

This saucy lady is not playing around. She is a commanding, provocative girlboss. But I dare wonder if “required” is less of an order, and more of an invitation for me to unmask the spicy secrets behind her words. It’s hard to tell if she is flirting with me, or if she is just doing her job.

3. “Doors will open on the right.”

Now we’re talking. This voice definitely belongs to a man who is 6’2 and knows how to cook – well, claims to “know” how to cook when really, he can only make pasta. But hey, everyone loves pasta. His deep, mysterious voice rings out from every train. If doors open on the right, what opens on the left? Could it be our budding whirlwind of a romance?

2. “The destination of this train is…”

There is nothing better than a man who knows where he’s headed in life. Whenever his voice utters this phrase, he shows that he wants me to know that he knows what lies ahead. Even if the destination is Heath Street (What is a Heath Street? Who is a Heath Street? Why is a Heath Street?), his buttery voice assures me I’ll arrive safely. 

1. “Entering Boylston. No smoking please.”

The horrific sound of the T screeching into the Boylston stop is actually pretty sensual background noise for when the sexiest announcement tickles the inner workings of your longing ears. The dominance in his voice when he says “No smoking” is perfectly juxtaposed with the softness of the “please.” Are your knees weak? ‘Cause mine definitely are. And nothing makes me feel the same way I do when he tells me we are entering Boylston. Sir, I know something else you can enter anytime.

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