BOSTON—Following a recent push to “greenify” BU, a cow is, reportedly, pleased.

“Hrrrmmmmph ooorrrhhh”, remarked the 1280-pound Holstein cow (SED ’15) grazing along Commonwealth Avenue, visibly becoming distressed as a throng of reporters pressed forth with cameras and microphones.

The large mammal, generally bred for the purpose of producing milk, is pleased with the work the administration has done to construct more green space around campus.

“We’ve tried to make an effort to provide more green spaces for the enjoyment of students, as well as to accommodate the dietary preferences of large herbivores that may be milling about our campus”, reports John O’Reilly, director of facilities.“

At press time, the spotted milk-machine was reportedly petitioning BU Dining Services to replant the entire BU beach with native big bluestem, Indian grass, switchgrass, fescue, and dandelions, all of which are considered culinary treats among the Bovidae family of animals.

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