Hey, Girlboss! You’ve been killing it, and we’ve noticed. I’m sure you noticed it’s getting hotter outside; don’t worry queen, it’s just the impending consequences of human destruction of our planet!

Keep thriving in everything you do! Working 9-5 in that male-dominated industry is absolutely shattering the glass ceiling (and the atmosphere layer). Her Royal Camp-ness Dolly Parton would be proud to call you a working girl, even if your career only lasts another 20 years!

It is normal to notice some unnatural occurrences when you’re out there breaking barriers and looking good doing it. You are killing the game with your next level ‘fits, courtesy of Shein of course! You’re influential, bestie, and your power is non-renewable, just like the dying coal industry that republicans are still clinging to. (Use it wisely (or don’t your body, your choice).

So what if it’s snowing in September after you’ve successfully convinced a film bro that Pulp Fiction is actually your favorite movie and Quentin Tarantino is the “godfather of cinema”. He believed you and you were able to ghost him before ever having to meet him, which is the hallmark of a successful Girlboss in the dating scene! 

Forest fires broke out on Bay State Road while you were busy posting two slides of an infographic on your story to show that you definitely read all 8 slides, but that isn’t your fault; you were spreading awareness (the flames just spread slightly further)!

You’re doing for women what Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are doing for stoner couples everywhere — continuing to say and do way too much and give society a quiet (but very valid) fear for the future.

If anyone thinks that your girlbossing is single-handedly causing the climate crisis of this generation, thank them. They noticed your impact on the world, and that’s what really matters — being recognized for every single thing that you do because the world is ending, and if you don’t get the validation what is the point. 

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