CAS—Witness reports have indicated that Diane Greer (CAS ’15) held up her environmental science lecture for fifteen minutes as she unraveled her scarf earlier today.

The class, which was getting ready to review for a very important exam, watched as Greer gradually disappeared into a cocoon-like structure before them as her scarf uncoiled around her seat.

“Everyone knows that scarves are a perfect combination of fashion and function,” said Greer, with only the top of her head and her laptop peeking through the folds from within the lumpy mass of finely-spun wool.

Many students in her class agreed, adding that scarves were great at protecting exposed skin from the wind, as well as serving as an innovative means of transportation.

“Whenever I leave Fitrec and go to class this time of year, I just put on my scarf and roll down the bike lane towards east campus,“ said Shannon Ewell (COM ’16) while putting on her helmet. “I need one in that color though,” she added, enviously eyeing Greer’s orange linen cocoon.

Other students, however, have not warmed to the season and its corresponding increase in outerwear.

“I’m iffy on girls with scarves,” Todd Fielding (SMG ’14) said. “On the one hand they’re adorable, but on the other you have to be careful, because they’re always bumping into each other on the sidewalk and falling over like sumo wrestlers.”

At press time, Greer had left class twenty minutes early to re-wrap her scarf around her neck.

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