This week the George Sherman Union, which has created a positive environment for students to freely socialize and study, has been challenged by a new competitor, the George Sherman Confederacy.
“If you’re going to create a new student union completely, at least be decent enough to use a different name,” said the GSU. “I mean, George Sherman didn’t even found that building! What a knock off.”
The GSC, as it would prefer to be known, is located in South Campus. The rebels claim that they are fighting for states rights, faster lines at Panda Express, and President Lincoln’s election, which it admits is not really BU’s fault.
“Sure, we couldn’t get any real administrators to get on board with the GSC, but we made up for it by participating in racist rituals!” said founder of the GSC, Jeff Davis (CAS ‘16).
With the anticipation of a coming war, South Campus students rallied at City Target to buy supplies.
“I have a sword and a shield, and – wait… Gushers are 2 dollars off! What a deal” said Confederate fighter Trevor Ghosh.
At press time, it took 100 years for Boston University to ban the hanging of any flag in support of the GSC.