Maddy Schmidt (COM '21)

Maddy Schmidt is a sophomore from New Jersey studying Film & TV. She likes kombucha for the taste.

In a shocking turn of events, your friend who owns a Canada Goose jacket is not-so-subtly hinting that she wants you to pay for half of this Uber ride.

You would assume that since she is wearing $1,695 in the form of polyester and a few dead wolves, she would be willing to cover the $7 it cost for you to get from Comm Ave to Fenway. But you would be wrong.

Normally, you’d be fine splitting an Uber or even paying for it entirely, even though you thrifted your jacket from Goodwill. It just seems a little strange that your friend, whose parents bought that Canada Goose and who pay for the family uber account, is forcing this mild inconvenience upon you. Like, are we kidding?

To be fair, you did offer to split the Uber out of politeness, but you in no way expected her to say “yeah that would be great!” because who would say that, especially when you agreed to come with her to Urgent Care so she could check out a cough she’s had for 20 minutes. Is she gonna make you pay her copay too?

To top it all off, now she’s all like,“Thank you soooo much for coming to Urgent Care with me! I owe you one!” Uhh, no! She owes you $3.50 plus half the tip, and like 5 extra bucks because it ended up being allergies.

You know you aren’t splitting an Uber home, so you suggest getting dinner at Sweetgreen before walking back. She asks if you guys can go to the dining hall instead, because, you guessed it, “she’s broke.”

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