WARREN—University freshman Zachary Quentin (COM ‘17), whose girlfriend still attends high school, had a romantic night of sensual, erotic and mind-blowing Skype intercourse last night, sources confirmed.
Internet records indicate the amazing, intimate Skype session which occurred between the laptop cameras of Quentin and his 17 year-old girlfriend Kim Welch, a junior at Ellsworth High School, lasted from 10:37 p.m. on Tuesday night until 1:24 a.m. this morning.
After starting off with some passionate texting and sensual facebook chatting, a particularly funny joke led an aroused Welch to suggest Skype. Despite Welch being in her pajamas, Quentin was not deterred.
“Just put it on,” said Quentin reportedly.
The primal interaction reportedly included sexy jokes and animalistic exchanges about the differences between college and high school, before climaxing with an exhilarating meme that was “so funny but so true” and caused Welch to scream with orgasmic laughter.
Quentin, who strolled into the Warren towers dining hall Sunday morning with a bounce in his step after the luscious late-night romp, was the subject of some good-natured ribbing from his knowing friends.
“Well well well. Look who’s here!” said exuberant floor mate Jack Barry to Quentin’s whistling friends. “Yeeeeaaaaah. Somebody had a good night last night.”
Quentin initially tried to resist the jeers of his buddies before cracking open a wide, sheepish grin.
“Wow. That was the best Skype we have had in while.” Said a beaming Quentin, “I got into some new positions because I had to plug my power cord in half-way through, and we only lost connection a few times. It was incredible.”
“Lasted almost 3 hours, too.” Added Quentin. “I haven’t lasted the long before ever. Kim was loving it.”
At press time, Quentin was furiously masturbating to pornography.