WARREN TOWERS—According to inside sources, Tom Lambden (ENG ‘19) brought an end to his celebration of No Shave November by plucking his one and only mustache hair that grew over the course of the month.
“Yeah, I’m in college now so I can grow out my beard however the hell I want because my mom can’t make me shave it,” said Lambden. “She really tried to get me to shave over Thanksgiving, but I was like no, Mom, this hair is mine and you can’t take it away.”
Lambden has been lovingly referring to his singular hair as “Hair A” over the course of the month.
“Right off the bat, Hair A came in on like November 13th, and I hopefully awaited progress. My fuzz grew in nicely though, I really think it filled out the rest of the shadowy look I was going for.” continued Lambden.
Aside from being aesthetically pleasing, Lambden remarked that his rugged look has also come with plenty of perks that will be missed.
“All my friends were real impressed,” he explained. “They kept asking me to buy beer for them because I looked like I was way older than 21. It never worked, but that’s only because those guys at the liquor store are real good.
Lambden originally planned to have a barber shave his face, but ultimately decided to handle the procedure himself.
“I figured I’d tackle the challenge myself,” said Lambden. “I grew it out, so it’s my responsibility to get rid of it. No reason to subject anyone else to all that work.”
Several other people have also been growing out their facial hair for the month of November, including Lunch Lady Sue, who grew more facial hair than half of the class of 2019.
At press time, Lambden had to pluck his facial hair so as to not accidentally nick his perfectly smooth face with a razor.