BOSTON—Two Freshman students in a WR 100 class about the early 20th century American novel realized last Wednesday that they are each other’s only college friends. The boys, Jacob Levigne (CAS ‘16) and Robert Walsh (SMG ’16), first made the discovery when they arrived home for Thanksgiving break and had no other friends to speak of.

“Friends? Yeah I’ve made some friends,” Levigne said to his high school buddies, as his mind cycled through all of the girls he had been too scared to talk to and the athletic boys on his floor who shared none of his interests. “There’s this one guy Rob who’s pretty cool, we have a class together.”

Despite never having hung out outside of their WR 100 class, both Levigne and Walsh proceeded to tell stories to people in their hometown about how good of pals they are. “Me and this guy Jacob went to Mike’s Pastry together in the North End,” Walsh told his aunts, even though he had really taken the trip alone on the second weekend of school. “I think we’re going to go to a Celtics game pretty soon.”

After listening to his hometown friends talk about getting blackout drunk for the first time, Levigne said “Me and Rob have this senior who gets us weed like every Friday. Cheap too.” Levigne went on to describe an entire party where he and Walsh played “strip flip-cup” with two attractive females, despite not knowing what flip-cup actually is and having never spoken to Walsh about anything other than the previous night’s reading assignment.

As Levigne’s best friend cycled through Netflix’s selection of Law and Order: SVU episodes (their friend group’s favorite show to watch together) Levigne realized just how much happier he was at home, and how scared he was to go back to school. “Yup,” stated Levigne, “College is pretty awesome.”

Experts project that Walsh and Levigne will probably stop saying “Hi” to each other on the street after sophomore year.

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