AMES, IOWA—Sources report that incoming Boston University freshman Robert T. Brown (CAS ‘22) was seen this morning frantically preparing a speech after being asked to…
“I had paid tuition, so I didn’t understand why I couldn’t take classes.” I logged onto StudentLink to pick my courses, but when I went…
CHARLES RIVER—After stepping on the Marsh Plaza seal the day before graduating, CAS senior Agnes A. Rena reportedly failed to graduate. Her diploma was found…
WEST DINING HALL—The Bunion reporters were moved to tears yesterday morning after hearing the sad story of Allen Owne (CAS ‘20), a student who will…
SCHOOL OF EDUCATION – This Sunday, university professors were shocked to learn that Elementary Education minor Ünter Ayj (SED ‘21) is actually 10 years old.…
BAY STATE DINING HALL—After eating a salad instead of a waffle for lunch, freshman Stu V. Tieu (formerly COM ‘21) had his lightly scheduled life…
ZISKIND LOUNGE—BU student Pree Fursbumble (COM ‘19) Tinder-swiped right on Brock Hamper (QST ‘18), a self-proclaimed “Questrom Meninist Brony,” in a selfless effort to win…
KILACHAND HALL – Kayla Smith (COM ‘21), reported that her roommate, Gigi Evans (CAS ‘21) has been acting strange lately. The two live in Kilachand…
ALLSTON—Eyewitness reports confirm that at 3:17am this morning, freshman Ivanna B. Airisch (COM ‘21) claimed to be “three sixty-fourths Irish” while requesting a beer at…
BU ADMISSIONS CENTER – At 4:20PM last Monday, the BU Admissions Office reportedly rescinded a student’s acceptance for, quote on quote, “meme reasons,” following in…