CAS—Sources report that after one week of Boston University students returning to classes, unpacking belongings, and buying textbooks online, Harry Westgate (CAS ’17) has returned…
WEST CAMPUS—Eyewitnesses reported that shortly after Timothy and Beth Richards turned the corner of Commonwealth Ave. and Babcock Street, a traveling pack of Canis lupus…
SOUTH CAMPUS—Reports confirm that after spending his fall semester with the Madrid Study Abroad Program, self-proclaimed Hispanophile and Boston University student Aiden Thomas (CAS ’15)…
CAS—A geriatric woman disrupted a British Literature 201 class early Tuesday morning by recounting unprompted memories of her life during the Great Depression, sources confirm.…
EAST CAMPUS—Sources have confirmed that university student Kelly Johnson (CAS ’16) is officially the best at using really big words in her Writing-150 class. “I…
WEST CAMPUS—A transfer student has finished reading Wikipedia articles about Boston and is eager to share his newfound knowledge with his peers, sources confirmed. “I…
SOUTH CAMPUS—After sitting on the phone for five minutes with a representative from a campus office, a university student reports that he has ended up…
WARREN—Sources confirmed that new Dining Services employee Amanda McCullough really had to take a shit while working at the Warren Dining Hall mac and cheese…
CAS—Witness reports have indicated that Diane Greer (CAS ’15) held up her environmental science lecture for fifteen minutes as she unraveled her scarf earlier today.…
DANIELSEN—For the third year in a row, the friends and family of Dave Wendt (CAS ’15) have agreed to stop noticing him for thirty days.…