Photoshopped by Michael Yue (CAS '23)

With the global economy in a hiring freeze, BU is proud to announce a new hiring event next week with an exciting employer: a Russian disinformation campaign. The campaign is seeking out BU students for their well-regarded work ethic and drive towards dismantling the American democracy.

The event was just announced yesterday but is already expected to have a large turnout, especially amongst the Pardee School. “Personally, I think it will be a great opportunity for me,” said Sabrina Carter (CAS‘ 21), “I was planning on defecting to Russia after a successful career within the CIA, so having this from the get-go should cement my credibility with the Kremlin.”

The Bunion reached out to the disinformation campaign’s campus recruiter, John Vladirsmith, to gather some insight into the perfect candidate. “Ideally, we are looking for people who are flexible, will give blind loyalty, work well under pressure, have no morals, and have experience with Microsoft Office,” Vladirsmith stated, “Because of this, it was originally a Questrom school only event, but we realized we also need people who have adequate writing abilities.”

The CCD and Pardee School advisors have collaborated on new resources to prepare students for the event, including guides like “How-To: Deceive Your Family on Facebook”, and “Tips for Poisoning Enemies of the State”.

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