MILE 11—Sources report that Chad Chadwick, a runner in this year’s Boston Marathon, is determined to quiet any and all critics against his controversial tactic of smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol – “crossfaded” – before and during his 26.2 mile race.
“420 isn’t just a stoner holiday, it’s a legitimate training regimen, and to have the marathon on the same day isn’t a coincidence.” Chadwick said while lighting up a significantly large joint at Heartbreak Hill. “The weed helps me not feel tired, and puts me in a euphoric state that eliminates all cramp pains.”
“The alcohol, on the other hand, just gets me super fucked up,” Chadwick continued. “I mean come on man, it’s Marathon Monday.”
Chadwick’s strategy is slowly gaining admirers as the race goes on, officials report.
“Initially, I was skeptical, but after he passed that puff-puff along our line, I gotta say he’s a pretty choice bro,” said fellow runner Amanda Washburn. “Looks like 4:20 isn’t just my target mile time anymore, y’all.”
“Plus, it makes this Gatorade taste even more amazing.”
At press time, Chadwick was running laps in Jamaica Plain’s Arnold Arboretum, infatuated with the trees and the rain elegantly dripping off of their many leaves.