Photoshopped by Shannon Damiano (COM '22)
Frank Hernandez (COM '20)

Frank is a senior from Puerto Rico studying journalism. His mom thinks he's pretty funny.

WARREN TOWERS—Sources say this past weekend, student Gregory Baxton (CAS ‘23) choked up a bit after scrolling past his ex’s apple picking photos on Instagram.

“Huh. Wow. Um, yeah. Hah. Hm,” grunted Baxton as he saw his recent ex-girlfriend just smiling, no sadness in her face, no tears in her eyes, no pain in her soul.

The photos in question showed Baxton’s ex-girlfriend cheerfully picking apples from an orchard. In her gaze it was clear that the 2 and a half months Greg and her had spent together making memories, tenderly embracing each other in the middle of the night, and supposedly “being the best thing to happen to each other in a long time” were far away from her thoughts.

“I just find it funny how… It’s just that… Agh… I guess, I just don’t… Ugh,” said Baxton trying to find any words in the English vocabulary that could help him describe the absolute misery and anguish he was feeling at that very moment.

At press time, Baxton has locked himself in his dorm where he’s considering liking the photo and pretend like he has moved on or scroll pass it and bottle up the inner turmoil that is eating him up inside.

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