BU ADMISSIONS—After years of orientation tours full of over-inquisitive little twerps, it was announced today that the area of grass overlooking the Charles River, known as the BU Beach, will be covered in sand. A source at the scene, BU orientation leader Corey O’Connell (COM ‘19), claimed incoming freshman asked such questions as “I thought you said we were going to a beach?” “Isn’t this just a quad?” and “Why did I bring my water wings, then?” According to reports, the sand will be mainly comprised of ground up Wheelock desks and chairs.

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