Well, folks, it’s finally happening. After decades of (horny) anticipation, the “A Goofy Movie” Sequel is finally in production. (We don’t talk about “An Extremely Goofy Movie”). Fans have been (literally) banging on Disney’s door for decades and Daddy Disney has finally given the fans what they want. Warning: spoilers ahead!

When pre-production on the sequel began earlier this year, Disney became distraught over how to attract the OG  fans (many now above 30 years old) back to the franchise. With Euphoria winning over viewers with their non-sensical pornographic shots and occasional storytelling, Disney knew what direction to head in. 

In the sequel, Max Goof is still in high school, but is constantly getting bitches. Every other scene is just a full-blown short-film porno. Goofy is still a photographer, but the sequel finds him in trouble with the feds for having sex with an underage dog-cartoon-thing(?). 

Edit: We are being required by Disney CEO Bob Chapek to report that “all similarities between Euphoria’s Cal and Nate and Disney’s Max and Goofy are solely coincidental. Besides, at least we’re not afraid to show our real dicks as opposed to their cheap-ass flimsy prosthetic ones.”

In another attempt to improve its brand image, Disney hired all the porn stars that were kicked off of tumblr back in 2018 to choreograph all the sex scenes. President Biden thanked Disney for this move, calling it “a much needed move to decrease the US unemployment rate while providing some good old fashioned snogging.”

Rumor has it a lot of famous stars came out to audition for the sequel. The Pinky Toe has the exclusive report that Nick Wilde from Zootopia has been cast as “one of Max’s many gay lovers.” 

In terms of who will be sitting in the directing chair, Quentin Tarantino was first hired to direct but soon fired after requesting most of the porn focus on the character’s feet. Sam Taylor-Johnson, the director of the 50 Shades of Grey film series, tried to step in but was rejected when she asked Disney “do we really need this many strap-ons?” 

Edit: We are now getting reports that Marvel’s Russo Brothers are set to direct. An inside source has told us the brothers are calling it “the peak of our career.” Hold on to your panties, pinky toe readers, we’re in for a wild ride.

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