Chase Madden (QST '20)

Chase studies finance at Questrom and undoubtedly would be placed in Slytherin because of it.

It’s summer time, and that means summer internships! An internship can be a rewarding and fulfilling experience, but it can also be a difficult task. That being said, here are some tips to keep in mind to make your time as an intern even better:

  • Upon accepting the position share a LinkedIn post that explains how “truly excited and honored you are” to be interning for your third choice.  
  • It is customary to say thanks to the person who hired you, so at the end of this article we have listed multiple locations to buy the necessary items for sacrificing a goat.
  • Showing attention to detail can help you get recognized around the office, so we recommend you get your boss’s usual coffee order tattooed on your arm.
  • It’s always smart to help out your manager and get on their good side; for instance, pick up their kids without telling them to show your initiative.
  • You go to Boston University, and it’s a great school, so make sure you show that Terrier Pride! In fact, shove it down their sorry UMASS Amherst throats.
  • Sometimes people exaggerate on their resume and it catches up to them. If you’re given a task you don’t know how to do, it’s best to simply tell your manager the truth. You’ll be struck from history and the world will never know you existed, but hey at least you told the truth.
  • Different industries have their own definition of casual Friday. At J.P. Morgan, on Friday you wear jeans, while at Medieval Times you wear a breathable coat of armor.
  • Stay away from Jerry in accounting, he’s a fuckin‘ psychopath.
  • If you find yourself in a situation similar to the plot of The Proposal, it’s probably best not to marry them unless they’re actually Sandra Bullock.
  • If they didn’t want you taking office supplies why would they have a supplies closet? Use your head, idiot.
  • Make sure you position your computer monitor away from the hallway so no one sees you googling “how to make a komodo dragon feel at home in a desk drawer.”
  • The hours after lunch really get slow around the office, so drop a little opium in everyone’s drink to keep the mood light.
  • Goddamit, were you talking to Jerry?
  • Intern’s tasks can be trivial at times, so don’t worry if you’re being asked to get scan some documents or have someone’s car washed, because before you know you’ll have plenty of responsibility being their scapegoat and doing twenty to life.

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