Photoshopped by David Simon (COM '21)

ONE SILBER WAY – A catastrophic event occurred Friday night when Dean Elmore and President Brown matched on Tinder, throwing their friendship into dangerously grey territory.

The two had enjoyed a cordial working relationship leading up to the event. However, according to Brown’s personal secretary, Evan Johnson, things were out of sorts come Monday morning.

“When Dean Elmore came into the President’s office that morning, he seemed stiff, almost afraid,” said Johnson, continuing, “I didn’t know what was wrong, but then I figured it out. It was that quiet and special uncomfortability that only comes with matching a person you know on Tinder.”   

When President Brown closed the door to his office for the meeting, Johnson says he put his ear to the door and heard everything.  

“They were talking about work, but it was different. Dean Elmore mumbled something about how it’s polite to match with friends, and then President Brown laughed way too loud before sprinting out of the room, clutching his rolling briefcase,” said Johnson.

“I’m worried their relationship will never be the same again.”

At press time, President Brown got a text under the conference room table from Dean Elmore: “U up?”

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