Photoshopped by Maddy Schmidt (COM '21).
Samantha Dilsheimer (COM '22)

Samantha is a sophomore from Philadelphia studying film/TV. She likes piña coladas, getting caught in the rain, and bad 70s music.

QUESTROM — It all started on a Thursday night when I was mindlessly swiping through bumble, not Tinder because I’m a feminist, and I saw this GEORGEOUS man named Chad. Under his name it said “Boston University- Questrom 2021,” but I ignored it. He could still have some good qualities, right?

So, I swiped right. Was it a mistake? Absolutely. 

We met up at local campus favorite, Sunset Cantina, because Chad had won a gift card from his fraternity’s dodgeball tournament. The server came over and asked our drink order, but Chad held up a finger and said, “just a minute.”

Before I knew it, the easel was out and graphs were being tossed in front of my face. My eyes glazed over in amazement, but at the same time, deep contempt.  

He explained to me that if I got in on the ground floor of this “enigmatic” skin care system, I could be doubling my interest by the next quarter. I didn’t know what he was talking about because his bright blue eyes and laser pointer were all I could focus on. 

I’m not sure what came over me that night, but I somehow bought $2,000 worth of Elmer’s glue packaged as Kylie Jenner skin cream. 

Anyway, the wedding’s next month. Chad convinced me that marriage would help diversify my portfolio.

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