Last Friday, Boston University’s most trustworthy newspaper, The Daily Free Press, published a lengthy and well-researched article exposing The Bunion for writing and publishing what it called “fake news”. The exposé cited articles such as “Planned Parenthood Protestors on Comm Ave Convert to Satanism” and “BU Announces All-New Dating App: 802.1xoxo,” outlining why they were categorically untrue and “filled with totally absurd falsehoods”. 

The Daily Free Press article expressed shock that The Bunion has been allowed to continue publishing for so long, given the “obviousness of the lies”. It quoted a line from the second Bunion article named above: “Named after wifi that is so consistently reliable, BU knows that the relationships fostered on 802.1xoxo will be similarly secure.”

“Consistently reliable?” Writes the Free Press, “802.1 WiFi is not consistently reliable. The Bunion is full of compulsive liars! It’s almost funny how fake this news is.”

To back up their claims of fake news, the Free Press article included a link to another web page that contained five years of painstakingly compiled evidence of The Bunion’s deceptive articles, contrived quotes, and defamatory fabrications towards President Brown, The Daily Free Press itself, and, most egregiously, the poor and innocent Rhett Bench.

“I get all my news from the bunion, is it really fake news?” Said one confused CFA sophomore. “What’s the Daily Free Press?”

The Daily Free Press is reportedly considering pursuing legal action against the Bunion. A representative from the Press called this event “the next Watergate”. 

“We’re going to expose them for their lies, and the whole school will love us!” Cackled the representative, before donning a pointy black hat and mounting a broomstick.
Editors from The Bunion declined to comment, because why should we?!

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