CENTRAL CAMPUS—Last week Boston University administrators announced the official commencement speaker for the graduation ceremony coming up in the next couple of weeks; The Bose 450 Dual Speaker.

“We picked this speaker because we want to make sure that everyone speaking can be heard,” said President Brown. “A lot of grandparents out there, and they usually have hearing aids and such, we figured this would accommodate for that.”

The speaker is an upgrade from last years speaker, the Bose 350, as evident by the difference in the model number.

“We get the best speaker because we are the best college, everybody knows that,” said Brown. “Also, this is the primary time when parents come to visit, and we want to seem like we treat our students better than we do. After all, who’s paying those bills?”

The speaker took a lot of underground negotiating to secure, but eventually the speaker agreed to attend BU’s commencement.

Oh yeah, and the person saying a speech at graduation is gonna be announced like sometime soon or whatever.

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