Photoshopped by Jacob Cohen (COM '22)

College of COM- William Luigi (COM’22) has an important announcement to make. Dissatisfied with big budget blockbuster films, Luigi is determined to take film back to its roots through the use of more authentic equipment, namely his Nintendo 3DS.

“Hollywood just uses these big fancy cameras and professional equipment to please the big box office audiences,” said Luigi. He hopes to revive an era of film in which motion pictures are shot entirely on “whatever camera is laying around.”

Luigi hopes his 3DS camera will give his story a “middle school vibe.” Although the subject of his film is migrant children in sub-saharan Africa, he feels that shooting on a Nintendo 3DS will provide both authenticity and irony. He also hopes to utilize the sticker function of the 3DS, giving the migrant children Mario mustaches for a fun little kick.

“It’ll probably at least make it to the Redstones, if not to Cannes,” said Luigi, who is now editing his footage on a 3rd-generation iPod Touch. “It’s just raw, you know? Not soiled by ‘professional equipment’ or ‘good technique’.”

And yet, some say Luigi isn’t going far enough. Fellow film student Priscilla “Princess” Peach (COM ‘21) believes that the 3DS is overhyped and over-memed. Her newest film is an avant garde experimental short presented through flipbooks, shot on Polaroids.

It is expected to be finished roughly around the same time construction in West campus is completed. Early screenings- that is to say, flippings- have called it “bad.”

“It’s bad,” said Luigi. “Just really, really bad. Peach’s project literally looks like she’s been eating shrooms the past twenty years.”

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