Photoshopped by Jacob Cohen (COM '22)
Timothy Choi (COM '22)

Tim is a freshman from a cornfield just outside of Chicago, IL studying Film & Television.

WARREN TOWERS– Catherine Patterson (COM ‘23) gained attention this week after staying up with a group of engineering students in her common room, despite not having any homework whatsoever. She had originally planned on going to bed early, but instead, she decided to join her colleagues as they solved their problem sets.

“It’s what I would’ve wanted, had I been in their situation,” explained Catherine Patterson (COM ‘23). “We suffer together, and through this, we endure together.”

STEM students were apparently quite impressed that Patterson joined them in their misery.

“It was really heartwarming, seeing her there,” said Paola Kline (ENG ‘23). “She didn’t help us at all, or really contribute anything of value, but it was touching when she would occasionally say ‘Gee, I can’t even remember how long we’ve been here’ or ‘What time is it? Does anyone know what time it is? I can’t find my phone…what time is it?’”

Patterson reportedly expanded on her goals and plans on creating ribbons for other students to wear during midterms. This would be a tribute to STEM students who have lost hours of healthy sleep in pursuit of a degree.

At press time, Patterson was seen at 3:00 AM editing a short film in her common room. She was alone.

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