ADMISSIONS OFFICE—With the fall semester in full swing, Boston University is now home to a new crop of 3,800 new terriers of the Class of 2017. This year’s applicants are noteworthy for being one of the most competitive groups of applicants in university history, and also for being a bunch of little liars who really know how to juice up their applications.
The 3,800 new terriers were selected from a record-setting pool of applicants for the wealth of unique abilities and skills that they’ve lied about on their applications to Boston University. The overall admissions rate of these students was about one-third, with a similar ratio between true personal accomplishments listed and things that were embellished or completely lied about.
“I told them I made an iPhone app, but really I bought an iPhone last summer,” said new terrier Jen Powell, who is studying computer science. “That’s still impressive, right?”
Students of the Class of 2017 have diversified themselves from their peers by being totally unashamed to make themselves seem way better on paper than they actually are.
“Me and three of my friends from high school all said that we were the president of the National Honor Society,” said new terrier Bill Simon, who served as the president of his school’s National Honor Society. “I don’t think anyone even checked that one.”
“Yeah, you’d think we’d have gotten in trouble for that,” said his friend, new terrier James Withers, who served as the president of his school’s National Honor Society.
“It’s important to really show the admissions office your true value, I think,” said one new Biomedical Engineering student Mason Jackson, a resourceful first aid practitioner who once saved the life of a former Vice President whose identity could not be shared on his application for confidentiality purposes.
“I think the key to standing out is picking something that’s really impressive but also hard to prove,” said terrier Abby Laud, who marched in Queen Victoria’s Diamond Jubilee Parade. “Yeah I know, right? I was so happy when I came up with that one. Ace in the hole.”
With personal accomplishments of students becoming more impressive by the year, some students have no choice but to even the playing field by puffing themselves up to some degree.
“I understand that you gotta do what you gotta do, but the fact that some people are so ready to misrepresent themselves so grossly is disgraceful,” said new terrier Stephen Trinnen, who served as the president of his school’s National Honor Society.