Photoshopped by Ahmin Thornhill (COM '20)
Ella Morgan (COM '21)

Ella is a sophomore from Houston, Texas studying journalism in COM (and by COM she means CGS but doesn't tell people that). She loves music and hates leftovers.

COLLEGE OF GENERAL STUDIES—“I was shocked. Purely and utterly shocked,” John Buckerson, a CGS sophomore, said, tears forming in his eyes. The CGS Biology department decided on adding a reproduction lecture into the curriculum after many students had been confused during the evolution unit.

“A student came up to me after class and asked ‘I understand we came from monkeys, but how did I come from my parents?’ This wasn’t the first time I had been asked this so I decided it was time to explain,” a CGS professor said about his lecture titled “I Can’t Believe I Have to do This.”

Every CGS student is now going to be lectured and tested on the birds and the bees. Each student will also be given an intimacy starter pack and will be graded on an awkward phone conversation with their parents.

“I am never going to have sex again,” Buckerson said.

Leave a Reply