We hope you had fun! Not really. We don't know you. You have a parasocial relationship with a satire newspaper. Sad!

Good luck. It's a doozy.

We know that it's already technically spring, but tell that to the weather! Am I right?

Please. I'm getting desperate.

Take this quiz to find out exactly how annoying you are!

People are saying that we won or whatever, but I'm still confused. Instead of looking it up, I decided to come here to the most…

Will he love you afterwards? Hate you? Passively say he's chill with you until you graduate and ultimately never speak again?

Spooky Season is never over.

And if you're lucky you'll catch Artoo's golden flying dogshit!