COM LAWN—Today BU administration announced its plans to cover it’s buildings with more buildings.
“We’ve received a large sum of money on behalf of four large name donors,” said President Brown. “After brainstorming many different ways to possibly spend this money such as a decrease in tuition, a larger selection of items at the dining hall, or improvement of technology that hasn’t been updated, we decided to just say fuck it and build more big buildings so we can prove to everyone how important we are.”
Polls show that BU decided to build more buildings so that students would be able to better recognize the campus while they’re walking through it.
“Yeah, sometimes I’m like ‘am I walking through BU’s campus? I can’t tell if I’m here or not,’ but now I know that when I get to the area of Boston where there is no side walk, only buildings, I’m in the right spot,” said student Erica Welder (ENG ’16).
Administrative officials stated earlier that they wont stop building buildings until BU changes its name to Buildings University.
“We know we want more buildings,” continued President Brown, “but we don’t know what to put inside them, so if anyone has any ideas, we’re open for suggestions! I personally think we should fill the buildings with puppies!”
At press time, every student was receiving their own building that won’t be completely built for another four years.