WEST CAMPUS—Early Wednesday, sources confirmed that reporters from campus news source BU Today have published a slanderous, speculative article focusing on the operations and writing staff of The Bunion.

The article, which was written and published without the permission of The Bunion’s offices, makes erroneous claims about the nature of the publication’s content, as well as the journalistic process that goes into the reports that The Bunion releases daily.

“They called our writing ‘satire’,” said Bunion Staff Writer Maggie McIntyre (COM ’15). “That must be a joke, and an offensive one at that, because no one takes the news as seriously as we do.”

“No, don’t get me wrong, it’s flattering,” said Bunion Senior Editor Jon Bayes (ENG ’14) while revising a story about the Russian invasion of the Ukraine. “I think it’s very kind of them to take a break from reporting about campus news to talk about a different site that also reports about campus news. Especially when all of their facts and quotes are made up.

“Gee, I wonder what’s gonna be the head story in my campus newspaper today!” offered McIntyre with a flippant tone. “Oh sweet, it’s a story talking shit about another campus newspaper!”

“What is this, high school cafeteria gossip?” she added, before storming off to interview a victim of a recent off-campus robbery.

“I don’t think we’d have a problem with the publicity if they didn’t label us as something we’re not,” added Bayes. “Anyone reading us for the first time will probably get the wrong idea about us thanks to BU Today. I mean, come on, ‘parody website’? That’s offensive. We are passionate about finding the truth. Anything else would be stupid to write about.”

[At press time, the truth is still out there somewhere.

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