Photoshopped by David Simon (COM '21)

Jacob is a Freshman from Easton, Massachusetts. He currently has no major and no life, a true disappointment overall.

GEORGE SHERMAN UNION – A group of Boston University students have now been camped out at the closed Panda Express in the George Sherman Union for a full month.

The group, calling themselves “The Express Alliance,” have refused to follow social distancing guidelines with the hopes of bringing back Panda amidst the COVID-19 crisis.

“This whole ‘pandemic thing’ is just a hoax put on by the media to scare us into not eating Panda Express,” said member Justin Nierta (QST 21’). “We’re gonna stay out here, fighting for what we are most passionate about until death do us part.”

The alliance has received countless donations from students, professors, and even non-BU citizens simply looking to help in whatever way possible. With the aid of these selfless people, the group has grown exponentially both in members and in spirit the past month, now hosting 43 Boston University students.

The university police force has attempted to drive the students out to maintain health guidelines and limit the spread of the infectious disease. However, the students fought back, barricading the building and hurling any objects they could scrap up at the officers.

“I was petrified, and if I’m being honest…I wet my pants,” said Faith Leras, the chief officer on the case. “Those kids are not to be messed with. There’s no way they come out until their demands are met.”

“The whole situation has been so hard on all of us, but I think if anything, it’s made us more united in our continuous fight,” said co-founder Ryan Tossen (CAS 20’). “It’s disrupted my daily life for so long now that I’m forgetting who I am. We need to bring back Panda before it’s too late.”

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