WEST CAMPUS—Sources report the BU intramural football team turned down a request by the Dean of Athletics to upgrade the status of their group to be the official BU Football team.

Turning down the fame, glory, and definite future success accumulated when becoming a college athlete, shock spread through campus.

When asked to speak on this apparent rejection the Captain of the squad John Candy (no relation) commented by saying “Look, we aren’t even an intramural team! A few of us just thought it was a nice day out and played some touch football on Nickerson field! I guess the Dean of students saw us playing and got excited. He approached us and kept muttering “advertisement deals” and “merchandise” under his breathe.. Ok, I really need to get to class so if you could stop following me…”

All hope for a BU football team is not lost. When asked if he thought there was a future for BU boys tossing the ol pigskin around professionally, The Dean of Athletics seemed optimistic, claiming there “will always be more fish in the sea.”

Then after a slight pause he said “I’m talking about more athletes, I hope that’s clear. I was not interested in them in that way, Look can you take that off the record, the wording is just a little weird and my job could be in jeopardy if that gets misconstrued.”

So lets hope the Dean catches some more fish in his pond of West Campus!

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