It was two nights before Passover, and all through BU, not a creature was stirring, especially not a Jew. However, that peaceful semitic slumber was interrupted by the first of the ten BU plagues that would be unleashed upon the gentile BU community for not giving us Jews proper bagels. Seriously, the bagels here suck. 

The rest of the plagues came after, trying to coax Pharaoh Brown to let our people GO! (to get maybe a nice brisket to make for the holiday.)

1. Flooding 

A sign of the times. 

2. Darkness

The second power outage will happen on the next wellness day. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

3. Bats

You’ll have to kill it yourself, no help from facilities for you! 

4. Shrimp

An unkosher punishment in your Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

5. Raising Cane’s is out of texas toast

It’s Passover, you can’t eat bread anyway.

6. No open seats on the COM lawn

You’ll have to listen to 100 gecs elsewhere!

7. Boils

Just kidding, maskne. 

8. Grade deflation

Damn you, Chem 101! 

9. Slaying of the first born

RIP, Cranberry Farms.

10. Coronavirus

Oh, look! An actual plague.

Leave a Reply