WEST CAMPUS – There will officially be a new BU COVID testing center in West Campus this week. At first, board members of Student Health Services struggled to decide where this new site should be located.
“Corona cases are rising, so we wanted to put a site in a location where students already were,” said one higher up, “Unfortunately, a variety of BU frats all refused to have something so sanitary in their basements, so we had to think bigger.”
They have decided to put this new site in the City Smoke basement. One representative from the store said, “We were hesitant at first, mostly because we didn’t know anyone over the age of 19 knew about us.”
Because of this new location, there have been innovations in testing methods to better cater to students’ needs. The new disposable COVID test vape is sure to have students rushing to get tested. The creator of this new vape is City Smoke owner, Dresident Prown.
“These vapes will be sold for 15 dollars each and have half testing liquid, half piña colada nic juice. The student then puts it in a bag, writes their BU ID on it, and returns it for another. It’s addictingly easy!”
The Bunion interviewed one of the first students to go to this new location, Kyle, to see if the plan had worked.
“I get a buzz AND for the first time ever I don’t get these weird ‘non-compliance’ emails.”