EGMONT ST—Brookline has announced its plans to build a 6 foot cement wall along Egmont St and continuing all the way along Comm Ave in order to quell the recent influx of BU Student Refugees into the wealthy, predominantly calm neighborhood.

“We just don’t have the resources to support any more people in our community,” said Brookline Town Clerk, Patrick Ward. “We really don’t want to build this wall, but… uh… but we’re going to… so.”

Brookline has set up a preliminary fence that has been a confusing inconvenience to many students, but has failed to keep them out.

“I’m not really sure what to think. The other night I saw a few friends throwing all of their things over the fence and fleeing towards Amory Park. They were almost at the hill when a National Guard truck cut them off. I haven’t seen them in a couple days. I’m scared,” said Hillary Peters (COM ‘17).

“That didn’t happen,” said Ward.

The students are being pushed out of their Comm Ave campus for a multitude of reasons. President Brown still remains in charge of the student body, the Convenience Point is 4 times weaker than the dollar, and tensions are at an all time high with neighboring Boston College.

One victim scaling the fence was heard screaming “Tell my Big I’m sorry!”

At press time, Donald Trump was scheduling a visit to Brookline in order to commend Ward’s efforts.

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