February 27 marked a dark day in the world of satire magazines. No, it wasn’t the day that Twitter fell for good, taking all of its easily robbable jokes with it, nor was it the day that Riverdale finally became too ridiculous to be satirized. It was the day that the Euphoria finale aired, bringing an end to the most glorious era satire had ever seen since Glee performed “Thong Song.” No longer could satire mine the sheer ridiculousness of TV’s campiest show for material – no more jokes about girlboss drug dealers,, or op-eds on the ethics of blowing an entire arts budget on a petty play. From that day forward, satire magazines would have to do the unthinkable: Be original.

To learn more about how magazines were dealing with this struggle, we traveled to Boston Learning Institute, home of satire publication the BLIster. While the folks at the BLIster were too busy mourning to speak to us, we were able to get ahold of Ella and Kaya, co-editors-in-chief of the BLIster’s sister magazine, the Middle Finger. They were clearly distraught as they described the utter chaos that had taken over their publication.

“Our people just can’t figure out how to be funny anymore,” Ella said between sobs. “They can’t even get a sharp exhale out of readers at this point. I tried to tell a knock-knock joke the other day, and…” Ella bursts into tears, unable to recount such a painful memory.

Kaya filled in, telling us that the writers at the Middle Finger have been trying everything from playing Bo Burnham’s “Inside” on repeat to reading the work of classic satirists like Jonathan Swift to even watching old Amy Schumer stand-up. (Ella admits that last one is a low point, even for college comedians.)

“We don’t know what to do without our heroes,” Kaya says, gesturing to framed photos on the wall of Zendaya, Sydney Sweeney, and Alexa Demie, who portray some of Euphoria’s biggest – and most easily satirized – characters.

“Who knows when something as inspirational will come again?” Ella asks, seemingly to the gods. “Lightning struck the day Euphoria cast so many sexy people to act so unhinged.”

“We’ve petitioned Ryan Murphy to make a Glee spin-off, but we haven’t heard anything back,” Kaya explains. “We need inspiration fast. Our writers are losing their sense of self over this.”

It’s clear from speaking with Ella and Kaya that Euphoria’s finale has put satire writers everywhere in dire straits. Unable to mock such unabashedly insane media, memes of the Middle Finger and beyond are forgetting how to be funny – or realizing they never were in the first place. But if all of this hasn’t convinced you how desperate the situation is, consider this final plea from Ella:

“Honestly, we just need a show that will be funny for us. Who knew writing our own jokes would be so hard?”

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