METCALF SCIENCE CENTER – Boston University officials have just released a statement that the annual Pumpkin Drop off of the Metcalf Science Center will be replaced with the “Rhett Drop” after membership at the event has been steadily declining. After just 6 students showed up last year, it was clear to the administration that a change is needed.

“It’s quite apparent that the Pumpkin Drop has become outdated; nobody wants to see a pumpkin drop a few feet nowadays when they can see that on their phone,” said President Brown. “We’re actually losing students to shittier schools, all because they are able to ‘wow’ their student population with an exciting event on Halloween.”

Cue “Rhett Drop,” BU’s very own idea in which a Rhett will annually be dropped off of Metcalf around the time of Halloween. Although there is no clear understanding of why this is fitting for the holiday, there is speculation that Artoo (Rhett 2.0) will be plopped to his death in a stylish costume TBD. However, there is speculation that he will be dressed in a pumpkin outfit, as to not stray too far from tradition.

As expected, there has been much controversy over the announcement, and students are rightly furious. Although the statement came just yesterday, a protest is already in the works. We spoke to Remmy Pask (SAR ’23), the organizer of the protest.

“We don’t understand why it’s come to this, or why the administration is advocating so hard for it,” said Pask. “Isn’t this animal cruelty?? If they want to do a Rhett drop, they should do a drop of ANYTHING but the actual dog. Why not drop the Rhett Bench, food from Rhett’s, or even sprinkle Rhett’s ashes? We are here saying we’re willing to compromise, but they refuse to listen.”

Meanwhile, BU is taking the “any press is good press” approach to the situation. Craving attention of any kind after F*ck it Wont Cut It’s run is over, the school is desperate. Insider sources at The Boston Globe and The New York Times have stated that they are both preparing damaging pieces on the issue.

BU Today, on the other hand, has already written a raving review of the idea, calling it “necessary and impactful.”

Although Artoo has yet to make a public statement about the recent news, his owner said his poops have become slightly more yellow and liquid-y than normal, a tell-tale sign that he is feeling anxious.

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