COPLEY—Weather forecasters had been scrambling to find names for all of the blizzards that have struck Boston this winter, until an anonymous gift arrived on Monday to the city of Boston: a baby naming book.
“There’s a lot that goes into naming a storm,” said Richard Stewart, storm forecaster and local weatherman. “For example, first you have to decide whether it’s a boy or a girl,” he continued.
After Juno, the brutal blizzard that left Boston doused in snow, the weather team had officially run out of grandmothers, biblical references, and celebrities to name storms after. They prayed for no more snow for the rest of the season, as they couldn’t keep up with the demand.
“What we’re learning from this book is that you want to find a name that is weird, but not too weird,” Stewart went on, “and you definitely have to be careful of anything that a middle schooler can turn into a sexual innuendo,” he said as he flipped through the pages.
At press time, the forecasting team wondered if this was how it felt to be an Irish Catholic parent in the 1800s.