CHESTNUT HILL—Multiple sources confirmed Wednesday that Boston College, a school of higher learning founded in 1863 by the Society of Jesus, is an outstanding place that has enriched the minds of many, some of whom have gone on to become professional athletes, Rhodes Scholars, and Fulbright fellows.

Boston College is ranked 31st among national universities by U.S. News & World Report, a truly exceptional ranking that deserves praise and hand clapping.

“As an institution of higher education, Boston College is committed to the discovery and transmission of knowledge,” said President William P. Leahy. “But reflecting its Jesuit and Catholic heritage, it also seeks to integrate excellence and religious commitment, to both inform and form its students.”

At press time all BC students were getting their brains enriched and—oh wait, we found out some other stuff about BC.

At press time BC restricted use of contraception for its students, refused to sponsor a dance by the school’s Gay and Lesbian Group, is under investigation by the Federal Government for not having a campus that is accessible to people with disabilities, lost the Beanpot to Northeastern, faced issues of racism on campus. The school does have a marginally smaller acceptance rate than BU though.

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