COMMONWEALTH AVENUE—This weekend the basketball team was discovered outside of the local Planned Parenthood practicing their three-point shots from the security circle surrounding the facility.

After measuring the distance of the white circle to ensure it’s accuracy, the team set up a hoop next to the door of Planned Parenthood and began freshening up on their technique.

“Coach said it’s good for us to practice in different places, you know? Get a new perspective, shake things up a bit!” said Trent Longback (CGS ’18), point guard.

According to recent reports, the basketball team and the Planned Parenthood have both benefitted from this new relationship.

“Our clients are able to peacefully get in and out of our health clinic without being harassed by protesters, as it turns out, people aren’t as passionate about hanging around outside when basketballs are being thrown left and right. Also, I hear they’ve been winning every game this season, which we’ll take a little credit for!” said Jonah Hansen, head of the Commonwealth Avenue Planned Parenthood branch.

Players on the team have even reported that people who have initially come to the clinic to protest have put down their posters and megaphones to play a game of HORSE.

“What can I say? It’s all about the love of the game,” said Longback as he sunk a three pointer with ease.

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