By: Jameson Beckman

At first I thought the drowsy evocations of the Lord Cthulhu were sort of endearing. I grew up in the middle of rural Montana, so I figured this was just another idiosyncrasy of city living that I would have to get used to. If I had to acclimate to the intense amounts of pollution and pools of bile being spewed down alleyways, I didn’t see why sleep occultism would be anything out of the ordinary.

The blood circles were maybe the first rude awakening that something was wrong — mostly because she made them at 2 a.m. and screeched eldritch obscenities the entire time. And I totally get it: college is stressful, and mental well-being is a serious issue that should be addressed and given more credence. I only wish it were a quieter credence that didn’t include blood magic. 

I noticed animal carcasses starting to show up the first week we moved in. Most people are pretty grossed out by the rats outside of Nickerson field, but she didn’t seem to mind. She made a grab for Artoo, once, but it’s mostly been rats and the odd squirrel. 

I don’t think it’s too much to ask for her to clean up after herself, though, right? I keep my half of the room pretty tidy, but she leaves dirty dishes everywhere — I find used cereal bowls, discarded cups, and sacrificial daggers constantly. It’s just gross and makes the room feel kind of crowded. My friends keep pushing me to talk to our RA about her, but I really don’t want to make things awkward between us.

And then there was the first time she brought back a guy. At first when she got really excited about him being a virgin I thought it was just a kink thing, but I haven’t seen him in at least two weeks and I’m starting to get worried. He forgot his right shoe here, so he’s gotta be back at some point.

I’d be more upset about her sinister sensibilities if it weren’t all so pathetic. Like, she’s put in all of this work, but I don’t know that anything has even come out of it. The most she has to show for all of this so far is some sort of potion she made in a large, midnight-black cauldron, but I’m pretty sure that was just some homemade prison wine. 
Honestly, the scariest thing I’ve noticed so far though is how many times she’s rewatched Gilmore Girls. I figure if you watch it once, that’s good enough, but she falls asleep to it almost every night. Creepy.

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