Photoshopped by Emmie Phillips (COM '22)
Emmie Phillips (COM '22)

Emmie is a freshman from Rome, GA studying Journalism and Advertising.

“Wait… what? Where am I? What is this? This didn’t exist before, did it?”

These were the fateful words spoken by Boston University senior, Robert Owens, at 1:53AM this morning when he ventured too far south of the Massachusetts Turnpike.

“I didn’t even know it was there!” Owens said. “Six years I’ve been on this campus! It was like it just appeared!”

According to Owens and other eyewitness accounts, BU students can be seen wandering around aimlessly all throughout the mysterious “Fenway Campus.”

Fog lays heavy on the grounds there, and residents seem to almost pop in and out of existence through the shadows.

The Bunion was able to make rare contact with one of the residents, alleged “Wheelock College” student, Isabella Frost.

“Yeah, it’s been here for ages… like since 1888,” Frost told us, seemingly annoyed. Apparently these “Wheelock” members are also immortal beings, on top of being skilled in the art of remaining unseen.

The obvious remote location of the campus could lead any rational human being to wonder what dark secrets are housed in this alleged “college of education and human development.” Education of what? Hm? Necromancy? What exactly are they developing humans into? Vampires? Werewolves? Zombies? Halloween was last month, Wheelock.

Reportedly, when presented with these hard-hitting questions, a number of these “students” hissed and disappeared in clouds of black smoke.

This circumstantial evidence has lead us to conclude that the cryptids that inhabit this “Fenway Campus” are part of a violent group called the “Wheelock Cult” and should not be approached under any circumstances.

Please proceed south with caution.

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