1 SILBER WAY—Despite the long standing promise that Thursday December 10th, 2015 would be Boston University’s last day of classes, President Brown suggested in an address to students that this was no longer so.

While expressing how proud he was of the Freshman class for completing their first and only semester at Boston University, instead of handing out diplomas he made the following cryptic comment:

“We here at Boston University are honored to have such an intelligent and gifted class of students join us, and we are delighted at the thought of what you will accomplish next semester.”

Unsurprisingly, word of this betrayal spread quickly and was met with disgust and horror from students.

“It can’t be,” pleaded an exhausted Ralph McDade (ENG’16). “That calendar said last day of classes, doesn’t that mean anything to these people?”

“I was graduating this semester anyway,” said Amy Loveleen (COM’16), “so I had always been a little frustrated that everyone else got off easy. But I never asked for this, this is a grotesque abuse of trust.”

“I heard undergraduate degrees are increasing in value.” McDade added, “I guess they wanted to cut us off while we were ahead. But this is still ridiculous.”

A clue that foreshadowed the utter disregard of the promise exhibited by the administration was its insistence that students register for classes next semester anyway.

“I thought we registered for classes again as like a cute ‘for ole times sake’ kind of thing,” said Tim Rodbury (SHA ’17). “I never even considered the idea that we’d actually have to take them, BU insisted this was the last day of classes. This is outrageous.”

At press time, an eager high school senior was preparing for the Fall of 2016, when he could take part in the first ever day of classes held by Boston University.

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