HIS HOUSE—Newly accepted freshman Macon George (CAS ‘23) reportedly received that giant red envelope in the mail, and immediately started looking at other colleges online. George was reportedly pressured into committing to BU and now regrets his decision, stating that he enjoyed just messing around.

The college search can be really draining, and it just wasn’t worth it for George, who didn’t want to promise himself to just one college. He would often stay at different colleges overnight, sleeping around to keep his options open.

“We were just having fun,” said George. “Why does everyone suddenly want me to get serious?”

Things started getting serious with BU when he was lured by its irresistible beauty, and of course its social connections. BU promised it would make him happy for at least four years. His parents also fell in love with BU, and pressured him to commit.

When he finally received his acceptance letter, his stomach churned at the thought of not being able to apply to any other colleges, since he had already promised some of them he’d stick around.

“How can I expect just one college to satisfy my many needs? This is the time for experimentation! How am I supposed to know what I’ll want for the next four years?”

At press time, sources report that George was asked to declare his major, and no one has heard from him since.

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