Photoshopped by Maddy Schmidt (COM '21).
Maddy Schmidt (COM '21)

Maddy Schmidt is a junior from New Jersey studying Film & TV. SHE IS CURRENTLY ABROAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BREAKING — In a developing story, it appears that a girl from Mickaela Tepper’s (CHS ‘17) high school class just got engaged. 

Although reactions to her post ranged from “wow” to “heart eyes,” the news deeply disturbed Tepper, among other classmates. 

“We’re only 20. Sorry, but that’s just too young to be making any major life decisions,” said Tepper, who decided at 18 that she was going to spend $50k a year at a prestigious university for a degree in communications. 

Other former students shared in Tepper’s desire to not think about the fact that their childhood is over. 

“It’s like by posting about her engagement, she’s FORCING me to acknowledge that we’re actually adults who can take care of ourselves. And I was not in the right headspace to receive that information,” Brian McDougal (CHS ‘17) said.

“Super weird. We are not adults yet,” agreed CHS gym teacher Don Digliani (CHS ‘00).

Tepper said she can’t imagine committing to any of the guys she dated in high school, one of whom gave her a card with a $10 bill in it for their 6 month anniversary. 

“This seems like it’s just my story, but every high school couple is like that. Right?”

Tepper maintains that she is a feminist and will always support her fellow women.

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