It’s that time again! Registration for classes begins before you even know if you are gonna pass this semester’s physics class. This can be a confusing time, so I know what you are thinking… “What if I seem too intimidating for my crush to handle?” But we’ve got you covered. Here is the official Pinky Toe guide of what classes you should sign up for to not be considered too dominant in the eyes of the person you want to pursue romantically.
NOT TO SIGN UP FOR –
CAS EN 370 : Introduction to African American Women writers – Nobody likes a feminist know-it-all. This class could give you an in-depth understanding of writers of marginalized genders and races. Steer clear of this class because you might become too big-brained for your potential bf to handle. Maybe pick the cooking class over this one.
CAS AN 102 : Human biology, behavior, and evolution – Ah! Human behavior! Nobody likes their s/o psychoanalyzing what they are doing all the time. Avoid this class because he will think you are looking too much into how he acts and what he says. This is probably because he is gaslighting you, but just stay away from the class to avoid that confusion.
CAS AN 553 : Human Uniqueness – Although this class aims to talk about the differences between human and animal, it’s title suggests that you might learn a little bit about your instincts and what makes a person a person. You wouldn’t want a man to get the wrong idea and think you are a unique and independent person. We all know he says he wants a girl who “is not like the other girls” but we are pretty sure that means a girl who enjoys Pulp Fiction.
TO SIGN UP FOR –
CAS CC 201 : Core Humanities III: Renaissance, Residiscovery, and Reformation – Take a trip back in time with this quirky art-inspired class. Since the only role women played in the renaissance was performing the duties of a common house-wife, you will be able to learn how to stay in your lane. Your crush will be so impressed by your ability to remember your place in the world and bow down to mediocrity. It really is a win-win.
CAS AH 387 : Boston Architecture and Urbanism – This class is in preparation for when you guys finally give a relationship a go. We all know that you are going to be the one planning the dates after several rounds of “where do you want to go to eat”/ “I don’t know, you choose”. This class will help you learn about places in Boston and how the city is developed. You will be able to take this knowledge and apply it to your everyday love life. You can even learn a little bit of history, because lord knows he’s a fan of history (see : his collection of WW2 submarine books).
CAS BI 203 : Cell Biology – Of course we need a cellular biology class to tie up our list. Cellular biology is the perfect class for you to learn about the tiniest structures of life and how to properly use a microscope. How else are you going to see his [*redacted*]?
Thanks for tuning in to the list. We wish you the best of luck with scheduling this spring’s classes and moving out of the friend zone. Keep gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girlbossing.