Photoshopped by David Simon (COM '21)

Maddy Schmidt is a junior from New Jersey studying Film & TV. SHE IS CURRENTLY ABROAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Two isolation households, both alike in indignation, 

In fair Comm Ave, where we lay our scene.]

 

But soft! What light through yonder isolation housing breaks?

It is East Campus, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious incels, who are already sick with Covid

That thou art sneaking out of quarantine.

They are but liberal snowflakes,

And none but fools do isolate. Come thee down

The fire escape, and let us infect the public.

See how she leans her unmasked cheek upon her hand!

I love that she doth not give a shit about the rules

We hath been in contact with someone with Covid

Thus, with a kiss, I die!

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