CAS—A geriatric woman disrupted a British Literature 201 class early Tuesday morning by recounting unprompted memories of her life during the Great Depression, sources confirm.
Witnesses say the incident began during a discussion of chapter seven of Great Expectations, at which point Candice Becker, an 82 year-old participant in Boston University’s Evergreen program, blurted out with a personal anecdote.
“When I was eight, I saw a man eat his own socks,“ said Becker, provoked by no one.
Sources verified that when Professor Alfred Gelnick responded by questioning what relevance that statement had to the topic at hand, namely the symbolism of Uncle Pumblechook’s hat, Becker shook her head and added, “Do you know what it’s like to sell your only pair of shoes for a moldy loaf of bread? To wait in line six hours for lukewarm, watered-down soup?”
“No, I don’t know what that’s like,” replied a visibly frustrated Gelnick, still waiting to click on the next slide in his presentation.
“My father ate boiled sticks for a week so that my sisters and I could go see the new Charlie Chaplin picture,“ continued Becker.
“People today — kids especially — take for granted every single luxury they consume.”
Felisha Wells (SMG ’16), a student who observed the incident, was disheartened by the outburst. “She just, like, started talking about all this old stuff. It was super disruptive and awkward. My parents pay a lot of money for me to go here and it’s a waste when someone ruins it like this. You know?”
Witnesses contend that Becker’s semi-coherent rant carried on uninterrupted for approximately eight minutes, during which explained what a gallon of milk cost in 1940, FDR’s secret knowledge about the attack on Pearl Harbor, and the fact that Miley Cyrus is a dirty little tramp.
The tirade came to a close when Becker wrapped up with a surprisingly succinct explanation that Uncle Pumblechook’s hat represented all mankind’s thirst for knowledge, to which Gelnick responded, “Very good point. Well done.”
At press time, Becker had last been seen talking to Gelnick after class, supposedly in an attempt to convince him that Donald Rumsfeld is secretly a robot.