We get it. Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble aren’t doing it for you anymore. Lucky for you we have a full-proof plan for making your LinkedIn (which we know you don’t know how to use) into a dating profile!

  • Endorse skills

Skills like “writing” and “interpersonal communication” aren’t important anymore. Try adding skills like “kissing with tongue” and “cuddling,” then have them endorsed by your exes so your new connections will know you mean business.

  • Make your headline interesting

Don’t resort to making your headline “Student” or “Business Professional.” Show us who you really are and what you want. Here’s a few examples:

  • Ask me how you can grow your business…and come over!
  • Aspiring Non-Virgin
  • Masters Candidate who Will Make You Breakfast in the Morning


  • Upgrade to premium

With a standard LinkedIn account, you can’t message everyone – but with a premium account you get five credits a month that lets you send a message to anyone you want! Forget networking for an internship – network to get laid instead. Use your messages wisely!

  • Set your profile as “open to work”

Making sure this setting is on is extremely important. “Open to work” is the same thing as saying “open to love.” You want to make sure your profile is straightforward and shows possible suitors (and possibly hiring managers depending on if they’re attractive or not) your brand.

  • Say you have a lot of experience

Experience is everything 😉 Don’t sell yourself short. Make sure your resume is up to date and doesn’t make you look like a loser. Add in dates for all of your experience as further evidence.

  • Join groups

Do your research and add yourself to groups that align with your interests. This is a great way to meet new people as well as show the world that you are DTF.

  • View people’s profile

It’s not a secret that LinkedIn shares when someone views your profile – take advantage of this. Bumble has girls message first, LinkedIn has profile creeping. For maximum effect, click on a possible love interest’s profile 10 times in one day.

If you follow these tips, you are guaranteed to have a date in no time! At least something will be going right for you considering you can’t get a job.

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