Photoshopped by Lauren Kelmar (COM '21).
Shannon Damiano (COM '22)

Shannon Damiano is a sophomore from New Jersey studying Media Science. If her roommate is reading this, she knows you ate her hummus.

Vintage looks are so in right now. Looking to recreate the Y2K look? Justice (formerly known as Limited Too) is the epitome of the turn of the millennium style. Here are a few items that evoke the feeling of your babička telling tweenage you look like a whore. 

1. one-shoulder leopard tankini

Recreate the feeling of a hot summer 2011 day, swimming in your cousin’s pool, and hearing babička say, when I was your age in Czechoslovakia, women wore housedresses to play in the only puddle in the whole village. 

2. the training bras

Your adult woman boobs can definitely fit into an XL size from Justice. But pink with lace? Babička thinks your lingerie makes you look like you dole out kouření parking lots.  

3. the shorts with the words on the butt

Again, your adult woman juicy ass can definitely fit into an XL size from Justice. Roll the shorts at the waist to expose more ass. And, does that say soccer on the butt? You don’t even play soccer. Grandma thinks you might as well have your prostitutka rate on your booty, the standard in Czechoslovakia being 500 Crowns. 

4. green apple lip gloss

Move over, Glossier! This frosty lip is a must to complete the Y2K look. But Babicka thinks that synthetic scents are the work of the devil, and that his minions czorts will come and drag you down to hell, k čertjam. Also you look like a cum-bucket wearing it.

5. two-in-one shirt

To mislead is a sin. Dvakrát měř, jednou řež.

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