BOSTON UNIVERSITY– Are you lonely during quarantine? Barely leaving the house except to buy groceries and walk through the park? Great news! You can entertain yourself by looking out your window, and observing all the people who walk past your dorm every single day.
Here at The Bunion, we have taken the liberty of compiling a list of all the
weirdos interesting characters you’re most likely to see strolling through campus.
(They are definitely not based on any of the author’s neighbors. Or co-workers. Or friends.)
1. Electric Scooter Guy
Why walk when you can scoot? This Terrier whizzes down Comm Ave every day, making a very effective and low-emission commute from East to West Campus. If you’re lucky, you’ll catch sight of a terrified pedestrian diving out of his way.
2. Woman Who Insists That 70-plus Degrees Is “Sweater Weather”
She’s excited for cold weather! Who among us doesn’t look forward to pumpkin-flavored beverages, or seasonal depression? But alas, wishing will for cold weather will not make it come faster. Just because fall technically started in September, it won’t stop you from overheating in your boots and blanket scarf, Becky.
3. Student Who Plays Their Music Out Loud on the Sidewalk
Everyone should aspire to have the confidence of this student. How else could they: a) completely ignore the murderous stares directed at them from every angle, and b) believe that everyone they pass on the sidewalk appreciates their crappy music taste? Truly a self-confident icon!
4. The People Who Drag Race Through Campus Every Other Night
You know ‘em, you love ‘em, you can hear their engines from half a mile away! It’s fine! Who needs to sleep on a Monday at 3AM anyway?
5. Person Not Wearing a Mask
There is no joke for number 5. F*** this guy.