Photoshopped by Vanessa Kjeldsen (COM '23)
Anna Kate Fahey (COM '22)

Anna Kate is a sophomore studying Film & Television. She has two names in order to fit in twice the personality.

Is this your first year at BU? Are you still getting used to public transportation? You’re not alone! Here at The Bunion, we understand. It’s difficult to learn how to ride the T, and understand its many difficult concepts such as “inbound” and “outbound” (that’s two whole directions!). To help you navigate the T, we took the liberty of putting together a few nursery rhymes.

1. Your first lesson in T-riding etiquette: before attempting to board, give the other passengers a chance to disembark. Crowding close to the doors causes a traffic jam, as well as thinly veiled rage on the part of the passengers trying to get out. To help you remember, try our new-and-improved version of “Hickory Dickory Dock.”

Be sure to let people off

The train has reached their stop!

Fail to move

And you’ll be bruised

Just let the people off!

2. We asked a Green Line conductor to give us his best advice for T-riding beginners. “Conductor Dave” said the most important thing to remember is that shortly after you get on board the train will begin a process called ‘moving.’ To the tune of “I’m a Little Teapot,” here is our advice for masteringing the art of train boarding.

I’m a BU student, 

trying not to hit

Other passengers,

as I find a place to sit.

Quick, the train is moving! (Stupid transit.)

Just grab–

A bar–Try not to eat shit!

3. Our third tip is to remember that you are not the only passenger onboard the T. So remember not to sing out loud. These new lyrics to “Mary Had a Little Lamb” should get that message through your thick skull.

Hey yeah you there, please don’t sing,

Please don’t sing, please don’t sing,

Yes I mean you, seriously,

I’ll throw you off the train.

4. Did you know that you’re supposed to ring the bell by using the yellow tape along the walls to request your stop? Don’t worry, Green Line conductors will remind you; but in case you can’t understand the muffled voices, make use of this new nursery rhyme to the tune of “Farmer in the Dell.”

You hafta ring the bell

You hafta ring the bell

Ya wanna be let off the train?

Then ring tha ****** bell!

5. Don’t want to pay the $2.75 for the T just to get from Central to West Campus? An important lesson in riding the T is how to sneak onboard without paying the fare. Here at The Bunion we pooled our knowledge and determined that the best way to do this is-

[NURSERY RHYME REDACTED].

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